cuz we some classy mother fuckers.
Every time I try to have some type of relationship it doesn’t work out. Never. Every time I try, I think of him and how no one could ever do better. I see him every day and every to time I look at him, these feeling rush up inside me. It hurts… It really, truly and honestly hurts, painfully to know that when he looks at me, the feelings he might be feeling are complete opposite from the ones I feel when I look at him. To know that everything we had ever been through just doesn’t matter to him at all. And it hurts even worse to know that the reason why is because I am such a fuck up. I ruined everything that was good between us and strengthened everything that was bad. I turned what was once called love into hatred. I don’t know if this is even entirely true on his part, but I know that’s what was true the last time we talked. I know the way that he felt then, or the way he showed that he felt, and I am hurt Inside. But I did this to myself! ME! He would not be feeling this way if I were different. If I acted differently. If I wasn’t me.
Does he think of me? Do I somehow float into his thoughts randomly? Or am I insane.. Are the feelings I feel love? What? Do I even know what that is? Maybe I don’t… But whatever I’m feeling is strong… Stronger than a lot of things that I’ve ever felt before /: It just really fucking hurts.